400 S Harrod St
Orange Grove, TX 78372
361-384-2858

 

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New Feature ! Statement of the Month

 

 

* Public Dance*

2014 Schedule

 

January


18th Private Function
25th Open

February


1rst Private Function
8th Open
14th Orange Grove Bulldog Backers Casino Night
15th Private Function
22nd Open

March


1rst Open
8th Open
15th Open
22nd Pirvate Function
29th Open

April


5th Private Function
12th Private Function
19th Open
26th Private Function

May


3rd May Feast
4th May Feast
10th Open
17th Private Function
24th Private Function
31rst Private Function

June


7th Private Function
14th Pending
21rst Private Function
28th Orange Grove FFA & 4H
Booster Club Dinner and Dance

July


5th Pending
12th Open
19th Open
26th Open

August


2nd Private Function
9th Private Function
16th Open
23rd Open
30th Open

September

6th Private Function
13th Private Function
20th Private Function
27th Private Function

October

4th Private Function
11th Private Function
18th Private Function
25th Private Function

 

November

1rst Open
8th Private Function

15th Open
22nd Open
29th Open

 

December

6th Private Function
13th Open
20th Open
27th Open









Statement of the Month

Subject: Obama Golf

this would be funny.....
IF
it wasn't so true!!

(Receptionist)
Hello, Welcome to
ObamaGolf . My
name is Trina. How
can I help you?

(Customer)
Hello, I received an email from
Golfsmith
stating that my
Pro V1 order has
been canceled
and I should go
to your exchange
to reorder it.
I tried your web
site, but it
seems like it is
not working. So
I am calling the
800 number.

(Receptionist)
Yes, I am sorry
about the web
site. It should
be fixed by the
end of 2014. But
I can help you.

(Customer)
Thanks, I
ordered some Pro
V1 balls.

(Receptionist)
Sir, Pro V1's do
not meet our
minimum
standards, I
will be happy to
provide you with
a choice of
Pinnacle,
TopFlite , or
Callaway Blue.

(Customer)
But I have
played Pro V1
for years.

(Receptionist)
The government
has determined
that Pro V1s are
no longer
acceptable, so
we have
instructed
Titleist to stop
making them.
TopFlites are
better, sir, I
am sure you will
love them.

(Customer)
But I like the
Pro V1. Why are
TopFlites
better?

(Receptionist)
That is all
spelled out in
the 2700 page
"Affordable Golf
Ball Act" passed
by Congress.

(Customer)
Well, how much
are these
TopFlites ?

(Receptionist)
It depends sir,
do you want our
Bronze, Silver,
Gold or Platinum
package?

(Customer)
What's the
difference?

(Receptionist)
12, 24, 36 or 48
balls.

(Customer)
The Silver
package may be
okay; how much
is it?

(Receptionist)
It depends, sir;
what is your
monthly income?

(Customer)
What does that
have to do with
anything?

(Receptionist)
I need that to
determine your
government Golf
Ball subsidy;
then I can
determine how
much your
out-of-pocket
cost will be.
But if your
income is below
the poverty
level, you might
qualify for a
subsidy. In that
case, I can
refer you to our
BallAid
department.

(Customer)
BallAid ?

(Receptionist)
Yes, golf balls
are a right,
everyone has a
right to golf
balls. So, if
you can't afford
them, then the
government will
supply them free
of charge.

(Customer)
Who said they
were a right?

(Receptionist)
Congress passed
it, the
President signed
it and the
Supreme Court
found it
Constitutional.

(Customer)
Whoa.....I don't
remember seeing
anything in the
Constitution
regarding golf
balls as a
right.

(Receptionist)
There's no
explicit mention
of golf balls in
the
Constitution,
but President
Obama is a
former
constitutional
scholar and he
believes it
would have been
included if the
Constitution had
not been drafted
by a bunch of
slave-owning
white men. The
Democrats in the
Congress and the
Supreme Court
agree with the
President that
golf balls are
now a right
guaranteed by
the
Constitution.

(Customer)
I don't believe
this...

(Receptionist)
It's the law of
the land sir.
Now, we
anticipated most
people would go
for the Silver
Package, so what
is you monthly
income sir?

(Customer)
Forget it, I
think I will
forgo the balls
this year.

(Receptionist)
In that case,
sir, I will
still need your
monthly income.

(Customer)
Why?

(Receptionist)
To determine
what your
'non-participation'
cost would be.

(Customer)
WHAT? You can't
charge me for
NOT buying golf
balls.

(Receptionist)
It's the law of
the land, sir,
approved by the
Supreme Court.
It's $49.50 or
1% of your
monthly
income.....

(Customer)(interrupting)
This is
ridiculous, I'll
pay the $49.50.

(Receptionist)
Sir, it is the
$49.50 or 1% of
your monthly
income,
whichever is
greater.

(Customer)
ARE YOU KIDDING
ME? What a
ripoff!!

(Receptionist)
Actually sir, it
is a good deal.
Next year it
will be 2%.

(Customer)
Look, I'm going
to call my
Congressman to
find out what's
going on here.
This is
ridiculous. I'm
not going to pay
it.

(Receptionist)
Sorry to hear
that sir, that's
why I had the
NSA track this
call and obtain
the make and
model of the
cell phone you
are using.

(Customer)
Why does the NSA
need to know
what kind of
CELL PHONE I AM
USING?

(Receptionist)
So they get your
GPS coordinates,
sir

 

(Door
Bell rings
followed
immediately by a
loud knock on
the door)

(Receptionist)
That would be
the IRS, sir.
Thanks for
calling
ObamaGolf , have
a nice day...and
God Bless the
Land of the Free
and the Home of
the Brave.


 

 



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